you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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