I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
