The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
