I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
