need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
