Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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