he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize