It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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