My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
