Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
