i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
