Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He did a backflip because drugs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
