i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
