He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
