what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
