They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
