Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
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