Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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