You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
