Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
