Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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