Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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