Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
