I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
