The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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