K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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