matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
