Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry boatmasterbob hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

Fav 30 870 2646
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

Fav 29 9311 1550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.

Fav 11 7083 1284
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

Fav 25 4998 1359
share tweet
(409): View more from Texas

The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

Fav 6 1069 3871
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse

Fav 3 1565 874
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

Fav 7 941 1735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

Fav 7 493 1133
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.

Fav 0 90 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT