I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
