That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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