I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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