Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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