I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
