I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
