she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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