I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Randomize
