he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
