we have pet lesbian snakes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
