Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
