scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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