How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
