my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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