just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize