Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
