I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
