just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
they're like a gay fantastic four
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
