Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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