That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
