Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
