Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
FUCK WHALES
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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