I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There r osticjed everywhere
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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