You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize