why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
