She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
