u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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