we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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