About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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