Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize