It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
