Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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