Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
